Adult Film Star Shares Tips on How to Have Great Phone Sex


In a long-term, long-distance relationship? Or maybe it's just a lengthy work trip and loneliness has crept into your fancy hotel room? However the case may be, everyone’s experienced that burning sexual desire, but then, there's absolutely no need to be horny alone on a cold bed in 2018.

Technology has come to the rescue in that regard and can be used to your advantage in creating some memorable sexual adventures. Phone sex offers immense satisfaction, but not everyone is certain about how exactly it works.

When you're separated from your partner, a form of connection is usually required to keep the love flame burning. For most people, texting or calling is the usual means—which is actually a great way to initiate phone sex.

“Start out with a sexy text message, signalling to your partner that you’re really turned on thinking about what you wish you could be doing to them at that moment,” said Dr. Emily Morse, creator and host of the Sex With Emily podcast in an exclusive with

“Follow up with ‘it would be so hot to hear your voice right now’. This way you’ve got the dirty talking party started,” she continued.

Also, experts such as Jessica Drake—a seasoned adult film star—have given out a few easy tips to aid your phone sex journey.

Simplicity is the best

A lot of people get reddish cheeks filled with embarrassment when attempting to talk dirty over the phone.  However, this is quite normal as phone sex can appear quite intimidating at first. So, the best way to overcome this initial fright is opting for simplicity.

“Don’t get overly complicated your first few tries! Even basic statements like, ‘that turns me on so much’ can be hot,” says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist. “You can also subtly encourage your partner to take the lead, by saying things like, ‘and what would you do to me next?'”

Jessica also noted that the moment “doesn't have to be a big production”.

“Call your partner at bedtime or catch them first thing in the morning. Lay in bed and tell them how much you miss them and what you’d like to do with them if you were with them,” said Jessica.

Silence can be golden

Having mind-blowing phone sex means the conversation mustn't always be a talking affair, noted Jessica.

“It doesn't always have to be a running monologue. Let them hear your breath quicken as you get turned on. If words turn to a moan, that’s music to their ears,” she said.

Be sure to include visuals

When it comes to phone sex, description is key. Be sure to describe everything you’re thinking about—the more details the better. Describe removing every piece of clothing, and kick start your experience from there.

“Start by taking a few pictures and texting them. They don’t even have to be nudes, but be creative. Wear something they long to see you in, show them their favourite body part,” said Jessica.

“Make sure the lighting is good and the shots are in focus, but don’t use every filter you have at your disposal.”

However, phone sex is a fantasy—and in most cases—you don't actually need to be wearing a corset or spandex, but can pretend that you are.

Once your partner gets in with the conversation, it can be a huge turn-on—especially if you know the kind of cosplay your partner enjoys.

Utilize toys or props

Both of you reaching climax is always the icing on the cake during phone sex, and using toys and some props can help set the tone for an orgasmic finish.

“Skype with your partner and give them a show—and then proceed to enjoy some mutual masturbation. Go all the way: Grab some toys and use your favourite lube to get slippery while you’re at it,” she said.

While doing this, be sure to guide your partner through the journey by telling them exact details. Are you rubbing your clit with a vibrator? Or maybe fondling your G-spot with a dildo while imagining it's your partner inside of you? Always be detailed.

Do it even if you're not that far away

Phone sex isn't always limited to distance, as it's a tool that can spice up your sex life. So, maybe your partner is in the next room, glued to their work on a laptop or phone. Hit them up with a call and begin the adventure from there.

“Send them one of those sexy shots and remind them that there are better things to do with their phone… and then, maybe (at the end) take some pictures together,” said Jessica.

In addition to Jessica Drake's tips, Emily also added that phone sex can be likened to normal sex, as glitches can be equally anticipated—which is perfectly okay.

“If you’re worried about what to say, make a cheat sheet before you start so you have something to refer to (your partner will never know),” she said. “You can also practice in the car while you’re driving or taking a shower.”

Emily also noted the importance of easing into the act, as the only way to ensure both partners have a memorable time.

“Really the only major faux pas is not saying anything in return,” Emily said. “If you can’t think of anything to say in the moment, you can always fall back on things like ‘that’s so hot’ or ‘what would you do next?'”

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